Anxiety

Yes, I am one of the people that face depression and anxiety! I went thru something traumatic and it has put me here. My anxiety is so bad that I worry about everything before I even need to. Here is what anxiety feels like to me: feeling like you are alone, worrying about everything, being afraid to put trust in people, and the worst of all feeling like you can’t breathe because it feels like someone is sitting on your chest! I recently got back into the dating pool, & that gives me anxiety because I feel like I am screwing up when he tells me I’m not!! He makes me really happy and he comforts me and everything else. I really like this guy. He is starting to help me get my self-confidence back which is what I needed. But that’s a different story for a different time. Maybe one day I can share on Facebook who this incredible guy is. Now, back to anxiety! Yes, anxiety can be a real pain. I sometimes can’t sleep because the anxiety has me worried! Sometimes I can’t eat! I hope I will get better soon; I really do. But until that day comes I will probably keep on worrying, and crying when no one else knows! I hope you never feel the way I feel. In my piece of advice if you have depression or anxiety talk to someone about it. It may feel like you are alone, but there are people that actually care about you!!

Starting Over

As I am sitting here in my childhood room I have a lot of thoughts! So much as happened to me where I feel like God is challenging me! I became a widow at 30 years old, which I thought we would grow old together! Then, in December I had to put one of my dogs down, which really affected me! Thumper was my husbands dog so I felt like putting her down was the last thing I had connected me to him. I know he will always be in my heart, but I break sometimes! I go to bed alone, I wake up alone, & I can't call him when something exciting happens!! I know I have my family, but I definitely not ready to end this chapter in my life. I was diagnosed with Depression in January, & I have been really hard on myself. In June I am going back home to start packing it up, which I will probably really be down a little bit! Paul bought that house in the town where we thought we would grow old together, & I would never have a mortgage. This was our dream house so having to say goodbye is going to be hard. I am not ready to say goodbye, but I know that this is what I need to do. I am going to live with my parents in the house I grew up in until I find a house. I really feel like I am starting over. I don't like what has happened with my life, but I have to understand that this is my new reality! I can only hope it will get better!!


xoxo,

Karebear